Wednesday, August 19, 2009

My prayer today...

God,

Today I put up pictures of Kamri, Lucas, and Lilli in my office. Beautiful and happy children you have made. You have done a great thing by providing them a place in which they can be given shelter and food. You have provided them a place in our home and hearts. You have planted seeds of discontent with the suffering of people in Uganda - first with Linda and Jill, then with Blaine, and now with me. You used those relationships to bring us to this moment, this moment of advent, this moment of anticipation, this moment of standing at the edge of dark and light where we face the dark not knowing where this journey will lead us, but as we step into it the light overcomes the darkness and where we stepped by faith we now see with amazement the reconciliation of people unto You because of our obedience to Your calling, Your leading, Your love.

So, today I pray for a pathway to be made, for a road to be paved from families who await the opportunity to adopt through Promise Kids a Future in Georgetown, Kentucky USA and Noah's Ark Orphanage in Busia, Uganda. Obviously the first family to get this privilege will be us, and so I ask specifically God to make this happen within the next six weeks.

Jesus, you proclaimed that You would give us anything that we ask in Your name, and so I ask for these things in the name of Jesus of Nazarareth, Son of the Living God.

AMEN


Tuesday, August 11, 2009

19 Years Ago Today

I'm not quite sure what I was thinking 19 years ago today. I was about to marry my fiance, the girl I had purused and who had pursued me off and on for five years. I belive I was anxious, but I had very little idea what was about to transpire. I was poorly prepared for the battles ahead. I was a deer in headlights.


In many ways I was masquerading as a confident gentleman. She had very little idea who I was deep down, other than a guy who desperately wanted her to be held by no one else. Even though we had spent five years getting to know one another. I had very little idea who she was.

While she was far more devoted to me and far more transformed by Christ than I she was also far more wounded than I. She had bandaged those wounds as well as she could, but some of them had cut her pretty deep and most of them were from me, and continued to be from me for years.

It is only by the grace of God and our determination to not fail that we made it this far.

Monday, June 8, 2009

The Waiting Game | Evotional.com

I read this on Mark Batterson's Blog this morning. As Kristi and I continue to play the waiting game with this adoption. As the number of children and names of children change, the suspected dates of travel (I've finally stopped putting dates on a calendar for this trip), and as I continue to wait to see if I will ever be given the opportunity to be focused full-time on ministry and church leadership and part-time scientist this was a great word. The Waiting Game | Evotional.com

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Wednesday, May 13, 2009

It's been a while....surgery, clots, etc.

How much can you cram in a month?


I think that was the question I was trying to answer over the last 30+ days that saw me try to finish a class, including writing five papers - one 10-12 pages.  Guess what the class was on?

STRESS

No joke it was on preventing burnout in ministry and identifying and preventing becoming distressed.

But I digress...So, it is a little ironic isn't it that over the last 30 days I have had ankle surgery that left a 4 inch scar on my left ankle.  We have purchased a third car, and hopefully Saturday will sell one of the three.  I went back to work every other day for a week, but toward the end of my first week back I began to get an ever increasing pain in my calf.  At first I thought it was a cramp, but by the following Monday it was evident that the cramp was something a little more serious.  After spending all day at the Doctor's office and hospital I receive word that I had a clot. I proceeded to be put on two anticoagulants, one a shot I got to give myself twice a day in my abdomen for a week.  :)  It was like going through a second recovery, because I had to take pain meds again to deal with the pain in my calf.  Now I'm back to taking them only to help me sleep since my foot is still really sensitive to touch.  My dad came to mow the lawn last week only to have the mower break before the yard was even half completed.  That led to me finding someone to come mow it for me on a day when it actually decided to not rain.  

With the unexpected blood clot came the disappointment of not being able to do my usual Mother's Day shopping with the girls.  While we did make something happen it still was a disappointment. 

Did I mention the class was on dealing with stress?

Now on top of that I have a 40th borthday party to plan and implement for Kristi.  While I hope to be off crutches by then it will only be by the grace of God that I pull that thing off.

Tomorrow I will venture back to work in a wheelchair.  We'll see how that goes.  I am finally able to stand for a couple of minutes without too much pain, although my foot still turns purple.  

If I learned anything from my class on stress it was to reduce the number of things on your plate, so in lieu of plugging away at my Masters over the summer I'm going to take a break and maybe pick it back up in the Fall.  That is if we aren't going to be in Uganda in the Fall bringing home three children.

Of course that could still happen this summer, too.

Did I mention that the class was on stress?


Saturday, March 7, 2009

Seize the day: An ankle analogy

Well it was last year at this time that I was considering having surgery on my right ankle.  I eventually did, and a loose piece of cartilage about the size of a penny was removed.  It was like new money.


Yesterday, my good ankle, one I can only remember spraining once was injured.  Going to the left I made a pass as I jumped into the air landed on my left foot cleanly and was hit hard from behind.  I felt something pop, and now 24 hours later it looks pretty nasty.

I'll be 39 this year.  I love playing basketball.  I can still compete with the young guys even if I'm 20 pounds overweight and need 30 minutes to warm up.  I wonder when it will click inside of me that I'm too old for it.  Honestly, I can't imagine the day of not being able to run up and down the floor, but sadly those days are numbered.  

If something really popped then the time might be now.

Seize the day!  It might not be the last time you play basketball, but it might be the last time you see a child, kiss your wife, work, drive, walk, see, preach, speak, sing, and the list goes on.

Seize the day!  If we have seize the day attitudes I think joy might be a whole lot easier to come by, patience a whole lot easier to practice, and peace a whole lot more available to live in.

Seize the day!  It might the last time you...

Monday, February 16, 2009

Proud Papa

Tonight we experienced our first County-wide Spelling Bee.  Shelbi, who won her school spelling bee, along with one of her best friends made it to the final four.  Megan WON!


It's a pretty cool story too, because she had a school project due today as well.  Megan had to create a short term goal and then determine some steps on how to reach that goal.  Megan's short term goal was to win the Spelling Bee and she accomplished that goal.  Pretty cool.

Entering the Spelling Bee Shelbi made all kinds of excuses to not study her words.  She felt that there was little chance of her getting to the final four.  Shelbi was within one letter of getting to the final two.  The word was vicariously.  We thought she had done it...V I C A R I O U S E L Y. One lousy "E" kept her out. Once she missed that word Megan became the winner, and then Shelbi entered a spell off for second and third place.  During the spell off she had several hard words and it seemed she could have spelled the competitors words with ease.  She ended up fourth. One place away from a trophy and a savings bond and was noticeably distraught.  Who wouldn't be disappointed coming so close to a reward and yet falling just short?

Tough stuff for my little girl.  It was like losing three times.

I was quite proud.  It wasn't so much that she had made it all the way to fourth.  It wasn't that she had spelled croquet or mystique correctly.  It was how she handled herself in defeat.  She cried a little, and the Shelbi I knew before Christ began a good work in her would have responded with anger.  Anger more at showing her emotions in public, then angry at losing.  She graciously took compliments of several people, and she was happy for her friend.

I think that while it would have been nice to be the parent of the Spelling Bee Champ.  In a way God gave us the opportunity to see evidence that this little girl, our first born, is going to be quite a woman.  A thoughtful young lady with perspective beyond her years.

When you can be proud of your kids in how they handle defeat there is a level of satisfaction that all of this teaching and modeling and questioning and rule making and integrity actually makes a difference.  At least it did tonight as I saw one handle victory with grace and one handle defeat with grace.  It was a great night to be a Daddy.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

I want a Kindle 2

This is not my typical post on this site, but I just wanted to get it out there, and I want Relevant to offer me free digital versions of the books that they send me.  Now if I just didn't have to fork out the $350.  


I read, maybe 20 books a year on top of the Bible.  If I was able to get them for $10 each instead of $15-$25 it would pay for itself in two years.  The only problem I have is of the 20 books I read a year half are sent from Relevant and 50% of the other half may not be available digitally yet.

So, it might actually take me 3+ years to pay for the thing; however, there is something very exciting about being able to have 1500 books in one compact place.  


Monday, February 9, 2009

8 Passenger Arrangements

Growing up there was a TV show called Eight is Enough, and while that was a family of ten, eight of which were children, I may need to go watch a few shows on TV Land or something in order to figure out how they did it.


Did you know that the number of vehicles that will seat eight include a couple of SUV's and two minivans, unless you want to step up into the 15 passenger van?

Did you know that five girls and one boy might mean a little too much hormone, a few too many weddings, a few too few bathrooms, and can create significant sleeping arrangement issues?

Did you know that when you say yes to one in God's economy it could equal three?

Did you know that the likelihood of owning two eight passenger vehicles is highly unlikely, which means that there will be a need to dictate who drives what when?

Did you know that it is completely possible to be totally pumped and anxious about an opportunity and completely overwhelmed with the transition at the same time?

Nothing concrete yet, but we could become a family of eight...I think it's just sinking in.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Send President Obama a note via IJM

Dear Robert,

The inauguration of President Barack Obama has historic significance that citizens across the political spectrum can appreciate and celebrate. With at least nine new Senators and 52 new Congressional Representatives coming to Capitol Hill, change is in the air in Washington.

But there are some things that haven’t changed. Beyond our borders, the poorest of the poor are victimized by violent crime – sexual violence, slavery, trafficking, police brutality, and property theft from widows and orphans. And justice systems in poor countries are ill-equipped to protect victims of violent oppression and apprehend and prosecute perpetrators. Add your name to a letter bringing these important issues to President Obama’s attention.

IJM works in twelve countries to investigate and prosecute exploitation of poor and vulnerable children, women and men, but we alone cannot provide relief for all the victims who desperately need it.

WHAT YOU CAN DO: Make sure that the Obama Administration and the 111th Congress help make public justice systems capable of protecting the poorest of the poor, and the most vulnerable among them: children and women.

Please add your name to a letter bringing these important issues to President Obama’s attention – and share this message with others. Thank you for raising your voice.

Warmly,
Eileen Campbell
Director of Justice Campaigns

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Adoption - Gratefully Wrecked

I'm pretty sure no one reads these posts, so I'm just putting this out there for my own sense of sanity as I try to purge every sense of selfishness in order to discern clearly what it is that God wants to have me do. 


I fully believe that God often reveals things to us when we stop asking questions like, "What's going to happen?" or "If I do this then what?"  Often my desire is to be 100% secure in the results before I make a choice.  I try to guarantee that I will know how a new TV will perform in my home in real life situations before I buy it.  I try to guarantee I will make the most money possible by waiting to the absolutely last moment to cash in on a stock trade.  I try to guarantee that if I go to an expensive all you can eat place that I will see to it that I get my money's worth (it's one reason why I've quit going to buffets).

Often the results of my mountain of research and desire to be as close to 100% confident as possible is disappointment.  I've often waited too long to sell a stock or to buy a stock. I still have not bought a TV because I'm looking for that perfect combination between flawless picture and really low price.  And I haven't been to an "all you can eat" place in some time.  In other words, my desire for confidence, my desire for reduced risk...for the sure thing has caused me to miss out on huge opportunities for growth.  And I'm not just talking about opportunities that are financial or for pleasure.  I'm talking about everyday life opportunities have been missed because I failed to make a decision.  The key to my indecisiveness has been that I have failed to seek the opinions, commands, and wisdom of God in my decisions.

On Friday this came to a head.  I'm sitting on a plane that eventually never takes off.  While sitting there waiting for it to be fixed I get a call from Jill Baker, our adoption agent.  She updated me on the situation and it was more of the same concerning that Alex, our soon to be son is ready and we can move on him at any moment.  Fiona, our soon to be daughter; however, is still a big unknown.  In Uganda they are very prudent in making sure that when they can a child isn't being traffiked.  So, they interview all of the living relatives to make sure that all of them are willing to allow the child to be adopted.  This is a really good thing when those in authority do their job.  Fiona's family lives a couple of hours away from the probation officer, aka social worker.  He has been unwilling to follow through with his interviews.  The mother, dying of AIDS, even came to meet with the probation officer and he disappeared for a week.  So, here this little girl sits in limbo, but of course she has no idea any of this is happening behind the scenes.

It's caused me to see a new perspective as God looks down on His people, His kids, and He knows what could be and yet because of our refusal to follow through on being diligent in aligning ourselves with the commands of God we and those around us remain in an orphanage thinking that this is as good as it gets.  I'm beginning to see co-workers and friends as orphans, and I believe I need to begin helping them see what's going on behind the scenes so that they can go home.

Back to the story.  After the update Jill springs, "Alex's mother has been coming to the orphanage asking them to take Alex's little sister.  I think that we could get things turned around pretty quickly on her if you wanted to go that route."

Now if you were to read my last post (http://18dollars.blogspot.com/2008_09_01_archive.html) you'd know how we go to this point.  So, there is now a plan C, a plan D, and a plan E.

Plan C involves forsaking Fiona and adopting Alex and his little sister.  Still two kids, still in the age range, and still in need of a home.  Plan D involves sticking with Fiona and Alex and maybe considering Alex's sister once she comes to the orphanage.  Plan E involves bringing home all three.  That's right...three.

There was an awkward moment of silence on my end, but I immediately knew that I was done trying to guarantee the results of this process.  Instead I need to discern the will and heart of God for my family and for these children.  I told Jill that my head wanted more data, but my heart knew that the only solution to this problem was the Holy Spirit.

I'll blog about this later, but I'm now into day five of my fasting and praying and I feel no closer to the choice than I did when I got the news.  At the same time I am being transformed, and the new perspectives I am getting is only a product of trusting God for sustenance.  Now may He who knows what my future would look like with never adopting, as well as what it would look like with one, two, or three reveal to me the BEST choice...the choice that will bring Him glory.  Any of you out there reading this...I'd covet your prayers too.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Times Article: "As an atheist, I truly believe Africa needs God"

Times Online Logo 222 x 25

From 
December 27, 2008

As an atheist, I truly believe Africa needs God

Missionaries, not aid money, are the solution to Africa's biggest problem - the crushing passivity of the people's mindset

Before Christmas I returned, after 45 years, to the country that as a boy I knew as Nyasaland. Today it's Malawi, and The Times Christmas Appeal includes a small British charity working there. Pump Aid helps rural communities to install a simple pump, letting people keep their village wells sealed and clean. I went to see this work.

It inspired me, renewing my flagging faith in development charities. But travelling in Malawi refreshed another belief, too: one I've been trying to banish all my life, but an observation I've been unable to avoid since my African childhood. It confounds my ideological beliefs, stubbornly refuses to fit my world view, and has embarrassed my growing belief that there is no God.

Now a confirmed atheist, I've become convinced of the enormous contribution that Christian evangelism makes in Africa: sharply distinct from the work of secular NGOs, government projects and international aid efforts. These alone will not do. Education and training alone will not do. In Africa Christianity changes people's hearts. It brings a spiritual transformation. The rebirth is real. The change is good.

I used to avoid this truth by applauding - as you can - the practical work of mission churches in Africa. It's a pity, I would say, that salvation is part of the package, but Christians black and white, working in Africa, do heal the sick, do teach people to read and write; and only the severest kind of secularist could see a mission hospital or school and say the world would be better without it. I would allow that if faith was needed to motivate missionaries to help, then, fine: but what counted was the help, not the faith.

But this doesn't fit the facts. Faith does more than support the missionary; it is also transferred to his flock. This is the effect that matters so immensely, and which I cannot help observing.

First, then, the observation. We had friends who were missionaries, and as a child I stayed often with them; I also stayed, alone with my little brother, in a traditional rural African village. In the city we had working for us Africans who had converted and were strong believers. The Christians were always different. Far from having cowed or confined its converts, their faith appeared to have liberated and relaxed them. There was a liveliness, a curiosity, an engagement with the world - a directness in their dealings with others - that seemed to be missing in traditional African life. They stood tall.

At 24, travelling by land across the continent reinforced this impression. From Algiers to Niger, Nigeria, Cameroon and the Central African Republic, then right through the Congo to Rwanda, Tanzania and Kenya, four student friends and I drove our old Land Rover to Nairobi.

We slept under the stars, so it was important as we reached the more populated and lawless parts of the sub-Sahara that every day we find somewhere safe by nightfall. Often near a mission.

Whenever we entered a territory worked by missionaries, we had to acknowledge that something changed in the faces of the people we passed and spoke to: something in their eyes, the way they approached you direct, man-to-man, without looking down or away. They had not become more deferential towards strangers - in some ways less so - but more open.

This time in Malawi it was the same. I met no missionaries. You do not encounter missionaries in the lobbies of expensive hotels discussing development strategy documents, as you do with the big NGOs. But instead I noticed that a handful of the most impressive African members of the Pump Aid team (largely from Zimbabwe) were, privately, strong Christians. “Privately” because the charity is entirely secular and I never heard any of its team so much as mention religion while working in the villages. But I picked up the Christian references in our conversations. One, I saw, was studying a devotional textbook in the car. One, on Sunday, went off to church at dawn for a two-hour service.

It would suit me to believe that their honesty, diligence and optimism in their work was unconnected with personal faith. Their work was secular, but surely affected by what they were. What they were was, in turn, influenced by a conception of man's place in the Universe that Christianity had taught.

There's long been a fashion among Western academic sociologists for placing tribal value systems within a ring fence, beyond critiques founded in our own culture: “theirs” and therefore best for “them”; authentic and of intrinsically equal worth to ours.

I don't follow this. I observe that tribal belief is no more peaceable than ours; and that it suppresses individuality. People think collectively; first in terms of the community, extended family and tribe. This rural-traditional mindset feeds into the “big man” and gangster politics of the African city: the exaggerated respect for a swaggering leader, and the (literal) inability to understand the whole idea of loyal opposition.

Anxiety - fear of evil spirits, of ancestors, of nature and the wild, of a tribal hierarchy, of quite everyday things - strikes deep into the whole structure of rural African thought. Every man has his place and, call it fear or respect, a great weight grinds down the individual spirit, stunting curiosity. People won't take the initiative, won't take things into their own hands or on their own shoulders.

How can I, as someone with a foot in both camps, explain? When the philosophical tourist moves from one world view to another he finds - at the very moment of passing into the new - that he loses the language to describe the landscape to the old. But let me try an example: the answer given by Sir Edmund Hillary to the question: Why climb the mountain? “Because it's there,” he said.

To the rural African mind, this is an explanation of why one would not climb the mountain. It's... well, there. Just there. Why interfere? Nothing to be done about it, or with it. Hillary's further explanation - that nobody else had climbed it - would stand as a second reason for passivity.

Christianity, post-Reformation and post-Luther, with its teaching of a direct, personal, two-way link between the individual and God, unmediated by the collective, and unsubordinate to any other human being, smashes straight through the philosphical/spiritual framework I've just described. It offers something to hold on to to those anxious to cast off a crushing tribal groupthink. That is why and how it liberates.

Those who want Africa to walk tall amid 21st-century global competition must not kid themselves that providing the material means or even the knowhow that accompanies what we call development will make the change. A whole belief system must first be supplanted.

And I'm afraid it has to be supplanted by another. Removing Christian evangelism from the African equation may leave the continent at the mercy of a malign fusion of Nike, the witch doctor, the mobile phone and the machete.

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